There’s something incredible about John Carpenter’s track record in the 80’s and 90’s, creating some of my favourite corny films of all time (Escape from New York, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, They Live, In the Mouth of Madness, etc). The Kurt Russell trilogy is genuinely one of my favourite trio of cult horror films of all time - which is why I was concerned when it was announced that “The Thing” was in production again.

I have to start off by saying that (somewhat of a spoiler) this is a prequel film. It wasn’t necessarily advertised as such, but I think it’s an important distinction to make. The film never really discusses that it is a prequel but takes some of the ideas and concepts brought up in the first couple minutes of the original film and builds upon them. I genuinely think that it is  necessary for a viewer to know this going in so you don’t get angry with this film thinking that they’ve done away with John Carpenter’s original.

The plot of the film is very simple: Norwegian scientists discover an alien spaceship and a frozen alien. Upon bringing it back to their base they learn that this alien can shape shift and assume the appearance of people it has killed (which is a large majority of the scientist team). It’s a simple concept, but it keeps you guessing who is “real” or not. If you’ve seen the original film though, you know exactly how this film is going to end - so the stakes don’t really seem high enough. 

Acting aside, the biggest draw for me was the creature design. The original film had Stan Winston and a very young Rob Bottin designing all of the absolutely surreal and terrifying monsters, and I felt that the creature design in this new film managed to hold up to the original. Sure, a lot of the designs were computer generated, but the overall “feel” of the creatures was very consistent. 

I really liked the film, and thought that it wasn’t nearly as sacrilegious as I assumed it was going to be. If you’ve enjoyed the original The Thing, or are interested at all in the idea - it’s recommended. If you’ve never seen the original The Thing - do yourself a favour and see that first.

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
The Thing [Blu-ray]
The Thing - DVD
The Thing (1982) [Blu-ray]
The Thing (1982) - DVD

Since I’ve had so much commuting time on my hands, I’d had the opportunity to read five books in two months - Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan’s The Fall and The Night Eternal, Doctor Who’s Apollo 23, Chris Hardwick’s The Nerdist Way, and now S.G. Browne’s Breathers.

Being Meg’s favourite novel - I knew that I had to give it a read and figure out what all the fuss was about. The novel imagines a world where re-animation is possible, and people come back from the dead all the time and are treated poorly by the government and community. These zombies are slowly decaying, but their brains still function properly and they even have a sense of humour. 

I thought the book was okay, it’s not really my style of book (I’m not as crazy about zombies as some people I know) but I was still engrossed enough to want to finish the novel and see what happened to these people who have been tossed aside by society for being undead, regardless of their ability to speak, formulate thought and otherwise be normal aside from decomposing. 

I also kept thinking about how the novel seemed to draw parallels between the struggles of the undead and that of the minorities currently facing the same issues in our society - but I was probably reading too much into it. 

It’s a decent book, and it comes highly recommended by Meg, and now I too can say that if you like zombies, romance, drama and carnage - check it out (before it becomes a movie).

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
Breathers: A Zombie’s Lament

It’s been a while since I last reviewed Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan’s novel “The Strain”, but since I started commuting I finally got around to reading the second book in the trilogy “The Fall” and have finished with “The Night Eternal”. 

I don’t want to give too much plot away, but I really enjoyed it for a horror novel. There isn’t much to describe: it has ruthless vampires, piles of gore and gruesome violence, but most importantly it’s actually a compelling read. The writing did take a little bit of time to register and pull me in, but overall I thought these two novels were a great second and third act to the story I’ve been invested in for almost two years.

If you’re interested in a good horror novel, enjoy the work of Guillermo Del Toro, or just need something new to read - check out “The Strain”, it’s a great first entry into a fairly gory trilogy. 

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
The Strain Trilogy on Amazon.ca

I feel like the writers behind Final Destination 5 just decided that since four other films had been made in the series, nothing was off limits. What audiences then received was a muddled, complicated, corny mess that was somehow miles ahead of the last couple films in the series.

I find that people only watch Final Destination for the death scenes. The plot and the characters don’t really matter much at all. You know they’re going to die - you saw it happen, and know that no other characters have avoided it before. You can just shut your eyes and hope that the film is fun and the deaths are gory and ridiculous. The first couple films feature some of the coolest deaths I’ve seen in horror films (the plane crash, the highway sequence, getting hit by a bus, the elevator, etc). This was fascinating to first watch because you were brought along for the ride, and understand the logic of cheating death was something new and exciting.

Something happened along the way where the writing kept trying to one-up itself and we were left with “The Final Destination”, which was a gratuitous use of 3D technology that seemed forced and pushed the series into that corny horror sub-genre that didn’t take itself seriously any more. I lost interest and didn’t expect to be entertained if the series had continued.

I have to admit that this new film is leaps ahead of its previous iteration, but only by how absolutely ridiculous the new deaths are. No characters are likeable, the plot is incredibly weak (it revisits the exact same motivations we’ve seen four times before - we get it, you have to cheat death), and the acting is horrible. The deaths are interesting because they actually had me laughing out loud most of the time. The leaps that the writers have gone to to produce a film this insane is beyond my comprehension.

It’s worth checking out if you like the other instalments; although you already know what you’re getting. If for nothing else, watch it for the twist ending, which I actually thought was integrated very intelligently. 

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
Final Destination 5 - DVD
Final Destination 5  [Blu-ray]
Final Destination 5 3D Combo Pack [Blu-ray]
Final Destination on Amazon.ca

I looked through my blog and was surprised that I had never reviewed “The Human Centipede” - so I thought I would cover my bases and review I and II at the same time.

The Human Centipede
If you haven’t heard about The Human Centipede before - don’t worry, here is Wikipedia’s first paragraph:

Lindsay and Jenny, two American tourists in Germany, are drugged and involuntarily detained by crazed surgeon Dr. Heiter when they seek help at his house after their car breaks down. The women awake in a makeshift medical ward. When the women wake up, Heiter has secured a male captive, Japanese tourist Katsuro. The doctor explains that he is a world-renowned expert at separating conjoined twins, but dreams of making new creatures by sewing people together. He describes in detail how he will surgically connect his three victims mouth-to-anus, so that they share a single digestive system

This is all you need to know about the first Human Centipede film. The rest of the film revolves around Dr. Heiter’s freak creation as he attempts to train it and watch his creation flourish.

First thing’s first, this film is messed up. It’s not just the subject matter, but the way it’s portrayed on the screen. Every second of the film provokes confusion out of the audience: “Why is this happening??” was constantly running through my mind. “Why am I watching this?!” was another. There was something about the low-budget idea and terrible acting that made the film bearable despite all the ridiculous short comings. The Human Centipede II on the other hand…

The Human Centipede II 
Everything that could go wrong in a sequel does go wrong in this film. The film opens up with a disturbed security guard watching “The Human Centipede” and being aroused and amazed by the ideas presented within the fictional film. The rest of the film centres around his absolutely insane and bewildering attempts to outdo Dr. Heiter’s 3-man centipede by obtaining and connecting 12 individuals. 

I will go on record right now and say that “I get it.” I get what the director did, and know why he did it. The insane popularity of the first film and the cult-like status definitely went to his head - and for his second iteration he created a monstrosity of bad taste, bizarre film techniques and some of the most intentionally disturbing shots I have ever seen in my whole life. It’s very much the same as when Saw first came out. It pushed boundaries and re-introduced the slasher film to new audiences, creating a new genre of “gore-horror” films that are now insanely popular.

What I couldn’t stand was how consistently “in-your-face” the film was. It wanted to shock and disturb audiences so desperately that every action lacked motivation. This ranged from constant shots of the sweaty, shirtless, obese main protagonist to shots of fecal matter projected toward the audience and everything in between. In the end I just felt exhausted. 

Honestly. Don’t watch The Human Centipede II. It’s not worth your time. It’s not interesting, or funny, or anything. It’s an exploitation film that preys on a viewer’s sense of self-worth and desperation for extremes.

You’ve been warned.

I had initially turned down seeing Fright Night in theatres this past year because it was only being shown in 3D. I can’t say that I fully hate 3D. Seeing Pixar’s and James Cameron’s use of the technology was brilliant: it’s immersive and rich with details in a three-dimensional reality. For most films though, 3D means “look at how much stuff we can computer generate being thrown at the camera for that 3D feel”. Fright Night was like that. Fortunately I was able to see it in 2D and it ended up being a great film - despite having a lot of moments in the film that felt like it was forcing the 3D technologies (like a vampire hand reaching out toward the camera, or blood being sprayed toward the lens).

I attempted to watch the original Fright Night with Meg and I could only make it maybe 15 minutes in before I had to turn it off. It was campy and cheesy, and I really wasn’t in the mood for it. The remake, however, was able to actually maintain a comedically stylized feel that played up the classic 80’s horror film genre, but was still able to redefine itself as a modern horror film. Colin Farrell did an excellent job as the head vampire, and the special effects were surprisingly well done. Not too over the top while still being able to take advantage of some standard camera techniques.

I actually enjoyed the film as a fun horror film. It was fast-paced and easy to follow, and the acting was really decent. I definitely recommend checking it out. If the “3D” aspect kept you away (or the price tag for seeing it in theatres), then I suggest you see the 2D version which ended up being well worth it.

Oh, and David Tennant was in it too - which was awesome.

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
Fright Night 3-Disc 3D Blu-ray
Fright Night 2-Disc Blu-ray
Fright Night - DVD

I bought The Fly on Blu-ray sometime last year for dirt cheap and hadn’t had a good enough reason to re-watch it until now. Watching a bunch of horror films means watching at least one “creature feature” and what better film than David Cronenberg’s The Fly? I had only seen the film maybe once or twice before when I was considerably younger so re-watching it helped me appreciate it all the more.

One of the greatest things about The Fly is how quickly you’re thrown into the film. Immediately the audience is introduced to Jeff Goldblum’s Seth Brundle, a scientist on the edge of discovering how to transport matter. There is really no time to think about the situation. You are seeing Goldblum’s experiments at the start of the film and from there things get weird quickly. 

I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Goldblum, but I had to admit that what really impressed me were the trick photography and creature designs. The film does a really great job using prosthetics and is thoroughly able to gross out even the most hardcore horrorphiles. It isn’t a bloodbath film, but it definitely has moments where repulsion outweighs horror, and that is a great technique. I remember seeing the original The Fly (1958) when I was very young and loved it. It was scary and the plot was intriguing and kept me entertained. The re-imagined work of Cronenberg is a great ode to that original film, but is able to standalone as a fantastic work.

Although the film is definitely time-sensitive to me (I tend to only enjoy or stomach watching horror films around Hallowe’en time), it is still a staple of great horror filmmaking and definitely belongs in any Blu-ray collection. If it’s been a while since you’ve seen it, it’s time to pick it up again.

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
The Fly (1986) [Blu-ray]
The Fly [2-Disc Edition] (1986) - DVD
The Fly Collector Set (The Fly / The Fly II) - DVD
The Fly - DVD

Insidious received very mixed reviews - some said it was the scariest film they’ve ever seen, some said it was stupid and not worth their time, others (like Meg) told me that she had trouble sleeping because of it. It’s not my type of film. Don’t scare me. I hate being scared. Meg still persisted that I finally check it out…so I did.

I have to admit that even though the film itself was very scary, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It was also slightly fragmented in the way it was presented. The first half of the film builds off of the horror/suspense genre of the films of the 70’s and 80’s. I thought of Poltergeist a couple of times in the beginning. It was much more simple in the way the horror aspect of the film was being presented to the audience, going for (what could be considered) cheap thrills and scares. The atmosphere was perfect and it set the film up to be something that the second half changed on the audience.

The film then follows Poltergeist and brings psychic mediums into the mix, preparing to exorcise the demons, turning the film a bit more surreal and bizarre. From there the film unravels slightly and becomes more predictable than terrifying, and leans much more heavily on the use of special effects and Nightmare on Elm Street-esque “Dreamscapes” to help move the story forward.

The film itself was entertaining though. I thought it was a decent modern horror film and didn’t shove “gore” down the viewer’s throat. I hate how a horror film in my generation can only be classified by how many buckets of blood and entrails are spilled in the course of 90 minutes instead of playing off natural human emotions and capitalizing on the use of suspense (which Insidious does very successfully). The film is beautifully shot with extreme angles and through camera lenses not typically found in the horror genre. Every shot is set up to be perfectly captured as a still frame though, a beautifully set up visual interpretation of the story.

I highly recommend watching it. If you scare easy, it’s not that bad. If you’re a horror pro - you might just enjoy yourself anyway.

Buy it on Amazon.ca:
Insidious [Blu-ray]
Insidious - DVD

Hallowe’en time at Mondo means great posters for scary films. Sleepaway Camp is definitely one of those absolutely cheesy classic horror films that I loved, and Trick’R’Treat has actually become a film that I really enjoyed and now think about fairly often. 

All four of these posters were created by Phantom City Creative and have a fairly small release of ~200 each. They’re available via Mondo.com at a random time tomorrow. Follow @MondoNews on Twitter for release information.