I knew Jennifer’s Body was going to be bad before I sat down to watch it this week. I knew, and yet watched it anyway. What a poor choice on my part.

After the success of Juno, Diablo Cody sat down and wrote Jennifer’s Body - most likely trying to replicate the quirkiness that everyone loved so much. I’ll break down this review into two sections:

1) Juno was awful. I had originally enjoyed it for being something completely different, but after it began to catch on with tweens and teens alike due to the dialogue and the pro-life message it spurted, I started distancing myself from the film. I didn’t want to become associated with the messages being put forth by the film, the one in particular that “If you get pregnant, it will work out, and no one will be mad”. This was the one part of the film that really bothered me. No one cared. She said they cared, but no one did anything harmful or called her out on it.

2) Jennifer’s Body was awful. The acting was horrible, but less noticeably than Juno - the dialogue was also bloody stupid. It seemed like the plot and dialogue was moving at a typical B horror movie pace, when all of a sudden Diablo Cody would throw in a stupid line like: “You’re so salty”. Which apparently meant good-looking. When you have to explain your own dialogue in a film (“What does salty mean?”), something has failed. I knew it was coming, but yet it still made me feel like I had lost part of my soul for hearing these stupid lines. It’s not cute anymore Cody, it’s just poor writing. You aren’t speaking to or for my generation, sorry to burst your bubble. While I’m on a bashing kick - Megan Fox. I don’t understand why everyone loves you. You aren’t overly attractive, have an annoying voice and I find you incredibly fake. Congrats on your pay cheque.

Don’t watch this film. The End.